It’s a legit question – why do the other guys get all the girls?
What’s so great about them? What makes them better than me?
There’s a lot to this question, though in short it boils down to – why do other men attract women as sexual partners and I don’t?
The TL;DR is embodiment. Say what? California crunchy much? Stick with me and check out this Ask Sex Coach Sarah video:
While I don’t know enough about the “other guys” in your particular world to be able to answer this in an individualized way, I do know enough from my work to see that embodiment is one clear difference between men that attract sexual partners and those that don’t.
It’s not about being stacked, or in peak physical condition, or about being able to lift heavy things. If those things appeal to you in their own right, rather than just as a means to attract partners, then go for it!
It’s about regularly spending time in your body in a way that you enjoy.
Sex happens in and with the body. Attracting others on the basis of what’s in your mind is powerful and compelling but it is only part of the story if sex is an activity that you would also like to share with someone.
Embodiment, being really present in your body and in touch with how you experience pleasure and general good sensations is important.
The best part is that, by practicing this regularly, by doing something with your body, your whole body, that you enjoy, it kind of sorts itself out. Spending more time in your body and enjoying it, liking being inside of you – this gets communicated outwards in your body language to others.
MINI MISSION: Try out a new activity this week that involves your whole body and appeals to you. This could be dancing alone in your room, rock climbing, running, swimming, playing a dance-based video game, going for a massage… Whatever you pick, try and pick something that sounds really appealing – to you – rather than something you think that you * should * do in order to make yourself more attractive. While you’re participating in the activity, really feel into it. Where do you feel your body, what feels good? Focus on those sensations that feel good.
Let’s say you give embodiment a go and, presto, you find that you’re attracting more potential partners for the sex… Now what? What do you do to make sure that you and your partner both have an awesome, pleasurable time?
Want more? I can help you be a great lover and develop a sense of confidence and ease in approaching sexual encounters. The next Great Lover Master Class starts in January 2020. Click here to learn more!
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