I set out to answer this question over on my Youtube channel:
Let’s dive a little deeper, though, because Meetup.com isn’t big everywhere, and, I mean, what if you went to Meetup.com and didn’t find any group that captured your interest?
When seeking out social spaces to meet people, it is crucial to first ask yourself this:
What do I actually like doing?
My point is that, if you start meeting new people in social spaces that you actually, genuinely like (regardless of whether a date results or not) then you give yourself a massive assist by taking the pressure off. This frees you up to enjoy yourself regardless of outcome (and outcome independence is hands down THE MOST IMPORTANT dating skill you can develop).
Don’t get me wrong – I know you’d like dating, or some fun sex, or a short or long term relationship in your life – that’s why you’re reading me! So, here’s what to do:
- Begin with you – what do you actually like doing?
- Of those things you like doing, which are inherently social or could be made social?
- Pick 3 interests, hobbies, or other activities that light you up
- Fire up your search engine of choice, and type in [ACTIVITY NAME] in [YOUR CITY]
- Pick one event, register, and put it in your calendar
- Go have fun!
That’s it for now. If you meet someone interesting, get their phone number and set up a date. And if you don’t on the first go, you’re still about to meet a bunch of new people and have an epic experience. Win-win!
Some ideas for social events/meetups:
- University discussion groups or clubs
- Science meetups or presentations followed with drinks and snacks
- Sports clubs (running, swimming, ultimate frisbee, indoor hockey, dodge ball, CrossFit, etc.) that are open to more than one gender
- Book clubs
- Classes – cooking, dancing, writing, foreign language, photography, yoga, etc.
- IKEA Hide-And-Seek groups (these are real things)
- Zombie walks
- Hiking clubs
- BDSM munches, sex positive meetup groups
- In a small town? Try bingo, pot lucks, club socials, library community days, store openings, etc.
These are in addition to classic locations like bars and clubs, which can be great, but only if you actually like going to such places.
What else can you think of? What have you always wanted to try doing? What’s stopping you from going out and trying this now?
MINI MISSION: Find one locally organized social event that you actually would like to attend, and go check it out. Put it in your calendar and commit. If you feel any hesitation about it, there’s a chance you don’t actually want to do it. Find something else until you feel excitement rather than apprehension.
If you have any burning questions related to dating, sex, and relationships, don’t forget to share them below!
Feeling shy? You can always send your questions in complete confidence to firstname.lastname@example.org. I read every email, and your question may be answered in an upcoming post, video, or podcast!
Want to be kept in the loop and learn more awesome dating tips? Subscribe to my newsletter and never miss an episode!