SEXUAL CONFIDENCE FOR LIFE
1:1 COACHING PROGRAM
Dating, sex, and relationships for men in the 21st century present unique challenges. Most information out there doesn’t take account of this dynamic, new world and focuses instead on what used to work…
…depending on how you define “work.”
For some men, their sex life “works” if they go home with a different woman every night. It “works” when their friends are impressed. It “works” if no one notices they are nervous approaching women.
If this is all you’re looking for, you won’t find it here.
The goal isn’t just a working sex life, but also a well-crafted sex life. The goal is life-long sexual confidence, starting today.
Sexual confidence is when you know you are enough as you are. It’s when you’re accepted and desired by your sexual partners. Sexual confidence feels like connection to your body and presence in the moment, instead of overthinking too much in your head.
Sexual confidence makes it easier to build ethical and trustworthy relationships. When you’re in touch with your desires, it makes it easier to find partners to explore them with, be that for one night, a couple of months, or a lifetime. Sexual confidence is feeling relaxed and comfortable on dates. Sexual confidence helps you builds close, intimate relationships with women.
Sexual confidence also helps you end relationships from a calm place of knowing.
This is all possible for you. You can be sexually confident, a great lover, calm, and content.
It may surprise you to learn that building sexual confidence is pretty simple. It’s not easy – honing any craft requires investment of time and energy. You’ll need dedication and application, perserverance and practice, consistency and commitment to growth.
The Sexual Confidence for Life program focuses on developing your ability in 6 core areas, which come together in a complete system of practice called Sexual Craftsmanship.
SEXUAL CRAFTSMANSHIP IS
Until you know what you want, it’s almost impossible to experience it. Connecting to the specifics of your desires and making them concrete is the essential first step.
Your ability to care well for yourself: for your body, mind, emotions, energy, and spirit, permeates every single part of your sexual experience. Too many men skip this step. Not you.
The single most important skill to be able to experience your desires is communication: with words, with your body, and with touch. You’ll know how to send the message you intend to.
Consent gets a weirdly bad rep, which is a shame, because it is a ninja skill of epic proportions for your sex life. Consent is powerfully attractive.
Know the basics of how pleasure works in the human body, both yours and hers, and you’ll have done more than 95% of men in your pursuit of a good sex life.
Choice is the cornerstone of confidence in your life. Develop outcome independence and you’ll truly have something that most people do not.
If you yearn for a sexually confident life, if you want to be a great lover and to be relaxed on dates – let’s do this. You can create this in your life and I can help you do it as I have many varied men before you.
That said, this program won’t work for everyone. There are people I can’t help. If what you’re after is:
- Pure numbers (i.e. notch count)
- Slaying HB 10s like a natural
- “Getting” sex at any cost
I can’t help you. More than that, I wouldn’t want to.
Assume you’re in it to commit to yourself and to build sexual confidence for life, let’s talk.
You’ve got your own story and your own set of challenges. Working together 1:1, we will factor for the unique things about you supported by a process that works.
I use Dr. Patti Britton’s foundational MEBES© sex coaching model together with the proprietary Sexual Craftsmanship system. I developed this system on the basis of my Master’s research and clinical experience. It’s time tested and gets results.
The Sexual Craftsmanship system is, step by step, the pathway to sexual confidence.
My aim is to give you what you need to be sexually confident. Not to act sexually confident, not to bluff your way to it or “fake it ’til you make it,” but to actually be, in your essence, sexually confident.
Sexual confidence has 3 main components:
- Experiential Motivation
- Outcome Independence
No two results look the same in practice and lifestyle, because what you want and what others want are different. For as different as results look, what my clients share is a subjective, deeply felt, known-in-the-bones sexual confidence. That’s difficult to quantify, though please take a look at the testimonials on this page for some examples.
Sex coaching is part science, part art. We begin with where you are, look at where you want to be, and plot a course to get you there specific to you AND also informed by emperical data. The sex coaching journey involves personalized sexuality education, taking intentional action, accountability for those actions, reflecting, forming habits, and continually reassessing progress toward your goals.
TL;DR – We have very specific, targeted conversations with each other where you will learn, you will take action to reenforce that learning, where you will be kept accountable to yourself and your goals, and where you will emerge on the otherside with a strong, personal, internal sense of sexual confidence.
THE SEXUAL CONFIDENCE FOR LIFE
The program begins with an extensive intake so that we hit the ground running in our first session and make the most of our active work together.
When you join, you’ll receive the Sexual Craftsmanship Coaching Program guide, your client agreement, and a link to the Intake form. The Guide will orient you to the program – it’s like a Welcome Pack, but more useful. In addition to including the information you need to know, it covers how to get the most out of our time together: how to approach missions, how to schedule in time each week, how we’ll work with each of the 6 components of Sexual Craftsmanship, etc. It also includes a Resources list and suggestions for materials to help you.
At minimum, you will need a notebook dedicated to this work.
Your intake materials can be sent to you by e-mail or Signal, depending on your data privacy preferences.
Once you send through your client agreement and intake form, you book your sessions at a time that works for you, wherever in the world you’re located.
Our sessions take place in Zoom*. It is also possible to have our sessions in JitsiMeet, depending on your data privacy preferences.
We meet once every two weeks for 60 – 90 minutes. This is when we go deep, set goals, and plan actions to build your sexual confidence. No questions are off limits.
You need to bring your notebook to sessions. You take notes, I take notes. After each session, I send you a recording of our session that you can play back to rejig your memory and replay those “Ah ha!” moments. Plese note, session recordings are optional.
*It is possible for us to work together in person (available in Warsaw, Poland, Vilnius, Lithuania, and throughout Europe and North America). If you’re interested in this option, please ask about it on your application call. You would be responsible for additional travel-related costs.
After every session, you’re assigned a Mission to complete before the next session.
Each mission focuses on one of the 6 components of Sexual Craftsmanship.
Missions are Action Go! It’s you doing something – getting out in the world, moving. This is how you solidify your learning, build experience, and grow beyond what we are able to cover together 1:1.
Each mission in has been intentionally designed based on clinical experience, research, and as part of the overall system of practice.
Um… also… they are fun 🙂
We check in on your mission progress in between sessions on accountability calls.
Hell yeah! Accountability is what sets coaching apart.
You can set all the goals in the world, but if you don’t take action, you won’t experience the change you desire.
Inbetween our sessions, you have access to unlimited email support. You can send me updates and ask questions. For anything that requires an extensive answer and a longer conversation, I’ll ask you to keep track of that to bring to a session. Frankly, though, a lot can be covered or clarified in a quick email.
On the week inbetween sessions, we have a regular 15 minute accountability check in call. You share your progress on your actions and your mission, and I help you get unstuck and make sure you keep moving forward.
At the end of our work together, we have a 60 minute session to bring the journey to closure.
We each present a summary of the overarching themes of your journey, as well as offer each other feedback.
You can be candid and direct. I will do the same.
Then, in parting, I will send you a graduate pack. This includes information about what you can expect in the months and years following our work. Even after the coaching program stops, the growth, development, and insight doesn’t. This pack is there to support you as you continue on into the future.
If you’re accepted to the Sexual Confidence for Life coaching program, you receive the following Gifts at no additional charge and all the additional benefit.
Get First Messages – Take your online dating to the next level with the help and guidance of an experienced sex coach. Learn more here! To be used prior to your first session in the program (recommended) or at the program midpoint.
Mark Manson Book Bundle – Straight from my resource guide, in paper or electronic form, you’ll receive one copy of each of Mark Manson’s three books – Models, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and Everything’s F*cked. I have personally read and reviewed each of these books and recommend them without hesitation.
The Sexual Confidence for Life program lasts 6 months.
Realistically, you need 5 hours each week to dedicate to this process. It’s better to take consistent action (i.e. an hour a day) than to cram right before 1:1 sessions.
You build sexual confidence and transform your experience of dating, sex, and relationships.
You walk away with a deeply felt and known understanding of yourself as a sexual being.
This confidence spills over into all areas of your life. With the tension, stress, and heavy weight of sexual confusion lifted from your shoulders, you have more energy for everything else. Your boss will notice. Your friends will, too.
You integrate skills you can use over and over again. I don’t want you to be a repeat customer. You walk away knowing you have everything you need.
Glad you asked! Here’s what is included in the program:
- An extensive intake questionnaire before our first session, so that hit the ground running
- A 60 – 90 minute 1:1 coaching session every other week
- A mission assigned after every session to keep you actively learning and growing
- A 15 minute accountability call in the inbetween weeks to update your progress
- Unlimited email support
- Referrals to resources unique to your needs
- Gifts to support you and because gifts are awesome
Apart from what I share about me elsewhere, in short, I am uniquely placed to serve as your sex coach. I have a very particular set of skills.
I only work with men in STEM. I understand the unique needs of men in STEM. You’re in male-dominated work and study environments. You likely have experiences of being bullied, often bullying related to your sexuality or your challenges finding sexual partners.
Also, I’m endlessly curious about the environment men today navigate and the conflicting advice men receive related to dating, sex, and relationships. I wrote my Master’s thesis about pickup artists, and I follow development in the Manosphere and other masculine online communities.
My conclusion is, if what you’re after is pure numbers, I’m not for you. If what you’re after is confidence in yourself as a sexual being, pleasure, and the ability to have new and rewarding experieces (be that with a life-long partner or a one night stand), I can deliver on that far better than pickup artists ever could.
My job is to hold space for you as a sexual being, whether you have had many partners, one, or none. My role is to guide you through a proven process of discovery and skills development that men like you have been through before. My responsibility is to show up for who you are as an individual.
Yes. We work together online. You can be anywhere.
You select a regularly recurring time with me that works for you. If you know you have travel coming up, tell me during your application call.
In some cases, this means now is not the time to start this program. It’s going to take a commitment of time from you each and every week. If you’ve got a product release coming up in 2 months where you will eat, sleep, and breathe work while flying to team meetings around the world – now is not the time.
However, many of my clients travel regularly during life as usual. Some of my clients have lives in two cities, others are digital nomads. In these cases, yes – this program makes sense, and we can work together to build a schedule that accomodates your movements.
The Sexual Confidence for Life program costs €5,997.
A payment plan is available.
Simply put, I am invested in your success. You need to be, too.
This is a significant commitment. You have to do the work. You have to show up for yourself, focus, and challenge yourself. It gets uncomfortable – growth is uncomfortable.
I strictly limit the number of people in the program – there’s never more than 8 at any given time. This ensures you receive the individual attention and accountability you need to succeed.
Because this isn’t for everyone and time is precious.
I don’t want you to enter this program if you’re not ready to commit to the work. I don’t want this to be an experience of disappointment or letting yourself down. I don’t want you to work with me if we are not a good fit.
Applying to work with me is straightforward:
- Fill out the application form.
- Book in a timeslot for a 45 minute call with me. There’s no cost for this call.
- This call is for both of us – it is your chance to ask any and all questions you have and for us to explore your vision and desires for your sexual life.
- I will tell you if you are not a fit, or if you are not a fit at this time. It’s in neither of our interests for you to participate in the program if it will not benefit you.
I am sensitive to the spectrum of data privacy needs, and will tailor my work with you to take into account your needs.
We can work together using traditional email and Zoom video conferencing, alternately we can use Signal and JitsiMeet. It is also possible to work with me in person (this involves additional, travel-related costs).
What you share with me is not shared with anyone else.
During your application call, we will discuss your tech related privacy preferences in as much detail as needed to assure your comfort.
Depends on what you mean by experience.
You don’t need to have any dating, relationship, or partner sex experience to join the program.
You don’t need to have any experience of sexuality-focused workshops or other forms of adult sexuality education.
You need to have experience with growth and skills development. If you’ve ever tasted the sweet victory of solving programming challenges, then you have this already.
Why? Because the lived experience of growing and developing your skills – the patience required, the frustration, the steps forward and back, the need to learn continuously – all of this applies equally to building sexual confidence. There’s no magic bullet… a magic bullet would defeat the whole purpose!
If you’ve done this in your life – built a piece of software using a new tool kit that frustrated the shit out of you along the way and then made part of your life immeasureably easier and more satisfying – then you know what success tastes like as you grow.
This is more supportive of developing sexual confidence than you can imagine.
LET'S DO IT!
The Sexual Confidence for Life program is a big commitment – it challenges you and exposes you to new experiences and knowledge about yourself. It creates change in your life.
The next step is to click Apply Now. You pick a time for your 45 minute call and fill out application form. It should take 10-15 minutes to complete. There is no cost for this call. On the call, we explore your desires and your vision for your sexual life, with plenty of time to address your questions.
Your sexuality is important. It is valid. It is an essential component of your humanity. There is no shame in having sexual desire, and there is no shame in having the desire to prioritize your sexual life.
What’s the worst that could happen? You talk to me for 45 minutes and learn something new about yourself. If you’re still reading this, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and apply now… LET’S DO IT 😀